vasaris: (cuddle cthulhu! by Vasaris)
Today I learned that Texas is not in the same time zone as Canada.

That being said, I find it pretty amazing that Canada left the continent when no one was looking. It's SUPER IMPRESSIVE and we should all bow down in awe.
vasaris: (cuddle cthulhu! by Vasaris)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] elfs at Evolution has an announcement to make
In a public press announcment, a spokesbeast for Evolution gave the following statement:
Recent news reports show that support for evolution has fallen below 50% among members of the Republican Party. Due to this, Evolution has decided to drop any support it currently gives to the Republican party. Evolution will not work on or for Republicans, and Republicans will cease evolving.

Evolution would like to remind Republicans that species that cannot, or will not, evolve in environments as dynamic as the American electorate quickly go extinct. Eventually, should the Republican party continue to avoid Evolution, the Republican party will be remembered only by its old and mouldy fossils.


Can't help it, I've got to giggle. I want to be as awesome as [livejournal.com profile] elfs when I grow up.
vasaris: (cuddle cthulhu! by Vasaris)
Cthulhu on a cracker. I'm mostly posting this because its simultaneously hilarious, ridiculous, and lachrymose.

Apparently, Alyssa at ThinkProgress thinks there's been no revelation of what average people think of superheroes in the Marvel Universe. There's no context, no background for SHIELD. She finds this disappointing, given the basic plot of Agents of SHIELD.

Never mind that the Marvel Universe is approaching its its 100th birthday. There's plenty of evidence for how average people feel about superheroes -- even in the cinematic universe, since Whedon made a point of montaging it in Avengers, and it comes up in the Iron Man franchise -- because it's been dealt with in a variety of ways in the comics. I never read them, but a brief dip into Wikipedia is enough to see that, yes, there's a context for SHIELD.

The TV show is a spinoff of movies spun off of multiple comic book series that are, in some cases 50+ years old. There is no feasible way for a TV pilot to back fill all of that in, especially when at least, what, ten movies including the overall Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Avengers) franchise, the X-men/Wolverine franchise, and Fantastic Four movies haven't done more than hint at some of it.

Inasmuch as I can understand disappointment with the script, or the acting, but recognize that the base premise, in many ways, isn't Whedon's. He's working from a play book that has, in fact, already been written, in a universe already familiar to millions. He wants to entice those of us who are unfamiliar or marginally familiar, but his audience is made up of people who would be bored and turned off by exposition about a universe they grew up with.

And, quite seriously, I have to laugh at you, Alyssa. If you're interested in the "we need to discuss the deployment of superheroes in a public forum" I direct you to the Civil War storyline. Also - did you even notice how you implied that superheroes are weapons and not people? Fictional people, true, but still -- not objects. The idea that a show about the structures that might support superheroes or superhero teams should be deliberately exploited for political purpose and debate in essentially real time? Please. Don't get me wrong, philosophical underpinnings are undoubtedly there, but that isn't the purpose of the show. Being disappointed that a vaguely-campy-already-has-a-fanbase show doesn't live up to your LET'S BE TOPICAL BECAUSE REASONS! expectations is ludicrous.

*sporfle*

Jul. 9th, 2013 07:43 pm
vasaris: (cuddle cthulhu! by Vasaris)
I refuse to support an America where al-Qaeda insurgents and smelly hippies can sabotage our prosperity. -- phrasegenerator.com
vasaris: (cuddle cthulhu! by Vasaris)
Players:
CL: confused lady
Me: guess who!

Phone: Brrrrrrrrains. Brrrrrains. Where da brrrrrrains?
Me: Thank you for calling, this is Vasaris.
CL: This is Confused Lady in the LA office.
Me: Hi, Confused! What can I do for you?
CL: I've got a rush shipment from Canada to the US. [Other Office] told me that you do that.
Me: ... Um er, so do they...? Okay. So... Where are the goods crossing?
CL: *sounding very lost* ...From Canada..?
Me: ...right.

In fairness, she's in LA and may have no reason to realize the Canadian border is very, very long and has more than one access point. Or, if I'm going to be nice, know which Canadian ports go with which US ports except she can probably use Google, that's how I figured it out. But "...it's coming from Canada?" will never stop being funny.
vasaris: (Default)
Dear carrier:

Providing proof that you faxed your entry to someone else -- while demanding to know why I haven't finished already -- is an excellent way to make me giggle.

Thanks for the laughs!

--me
vasaris: (Default)
What does "per bond-no query" even mean?

I'm thinking that the words bond and query have been transposed, but mostly I'm wondering if Mr. BondJamesBond just has no questions for us today...
vasaris: (Default)
Bored with your date? Try yoga!

Seriously? Not feeling the chemistry? Go bowling! No, seriously, YOGA

It seems to me that you'd get better results admitting that you like setting things on fire, or something.

So, clearly, catchphrase of the day: If your current activity isn't working for you, try yoga.

Sucky Customer? Put your feet behind your head.
Impossible government agency? Twist yourself into a pretzel! (Or more of one, as the case may be. Yes, I'm looking at you, FDA.)

Yoga, the cure for what ails your current activities!
vasaris: (Default)
(Okay, heavily paraphrased. Portions of this conversation may have been hallucinated.)

Shell-san: *heaving sigh* "Okay then. That fucking clusterfuck of a fucking fuck is done!"

Me: That's a whole lot of fucking going on. I hope the clusterfuck brought lube.

Shell-san: No. Fuck.

Me: Damn. That's gotta chafe. Never hold a clusterfuck without lube.

Shell-san: ...

Me: ...

Shell-san: ...I can't believe you just said that.

Me: Me, either.
vasaris: (Default)
Shell-san: This is going to Herpes Natural Foods.
Me: OMG, what? It's going where?
Shell-san: Herbies Natural Foods...?
Me: *helpless giggles* So not what I heard you say.
Shell-san: Do I want to know?
Me: I dunno, do you want to buy consumables from Herpes Natural Foods?
Shell-san: ...well, herpes is 100% natural.
Me: ...*ack* *cough* *cough* *giggle*
vasaris: (Default)
One of the eternal questions in international trade is 'Are the buyer and seller of these goods related to one another?'

It's a good question -- it helps determine whether or not you can use the primary method of determining the value of a good... the transaction value.

But sometimes it's results in the darnedest things.

Today I saw a note that solemnly informed me that the Royal Canadian Mint is not related to a variety of U. S. companies.

It made me laugh as saying that the Royal Canadian Mint is not related to, say, Dunkin' Donuts, is rather like saying the U. S. Department of the Treasury isn't related to Tim Horton's. Um. Duh?
vasaris: (Default)
LOLUSA

Trufax account code.

I are in the US, so... LOL!

*snerks*

Feb. 29th, 2012 06:54 pm
vasaris: (Default)
[Poll #1823006]

My co woker thinks that $0.06 is far too inexpensive and is convinced that there's NO WAY that, in bulk, wholesale, screws would be 6 cents a pop. I told her she'd better review that with the importer, because... WTF?
vasaris: (Default)
Me: Hey, Customer, we need proof of delivery for this, and the driver is being a jerk. Can you confirm you received it?
Customer: Huh. It seems we need proof of delivery. [livejournal.com profile] vasaris can you get one for us so we can give it to you?
Me: ...er.
vasaris: (Default)
I'm taking an on-line thing about INCOTERMS (which, if you ever decide to be an importer are very important, in fact, if you want to buy/sell anything that requires significan't movement of freight, they're pretty darn useful, but I digress).

One of the proposed scenarios for 'Well, we didn't agree to INCOTERMS' was the delivery of goods via parachute. Strangely, I'd never considered the idea that I'd have to tell a freight carrier (from UPS to USPS) that shipments dropped from 10 to 30 thousand feet up would not be appreciated.

(For that matter, the implication that my company would deliver via parachute is a bit... disturbing. 0.0)
vasaris: (Default)
Why is it that I hate little baby paperclips and absolutely adore baby binder clips? I mean, we're supposed to be wired to like babies, but I find myself with lots of unlove for itty-bitty paperclips and the urge to squee like a fangirl at bitty binder clips.

Apparently my maternal gene is broken.

Oh, wait... it is *me* I'm talking about.
vasaris: (buy a clue)
The email scam of the day...

Sir Michael Rake
Chairman
BT Group PLC
London, England

I am Sir. Micheal Rake, Chairman, BT Group PLC,
I have a business proposal which might interest you.
Its a win win situation especially for you.
Our sharing ratio will be 50-50 Should in case you are interested.

Sincerely,
Sir Michael Rake
Chairman
BT Group PLC
London, England

----

Dear Unlikely-to-be-Sir-Michael --

Oh, the irony that the Chairman of the Board of Britain's largest telecom service provider would have a comcast.net email address. <3<3<3

I think the saddest thing is that there are people out there who google Sir Michael and the BT Group and think "Wow, these are legitimate people, this email must be legit!"

*shakes head* I am tempted to hit up their website and forward your email address to them to let them know that his (and the BT Group's) presumably good name are being taken in vain by complete idiots. Honestly, the heads of major corporations don't send unsolicited, vague emails to drum up business. They have salespeople who solicit business with, one hopes, well-researched, well written, and well reasoned pitches that do not result in my wanting to send a picture of Wil Wheaton collating papers.

So, Unlikely-to-Be-Sir-Michael-Rake, I totally apologize for not being birthed via the Icey Forceps Of Idiocy, nor having been beaten bloody by the Baseball Bat of Brainlessness, nor drinking fresh, steaming Mugs of Mindlessness. I'm fresh out of stupid for you this morning. I have to get to work right now, but I will be forwarding your lovely note to the FBI when I get home.

XOXOXOXOXO!

-- [livejournal.com profile] vasaris, who thinks that The Bloggess should totes hit up Nathan Filion for a picture of him holding a ball of twine.

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